


Forget-me-not

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-26 00:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux doesn't know how to deal with a Kylo who doesn't remember him. Or... them.





	Forget-me-not

“Do I know you?”  


He says it so simply, so… lightly. It’s strange. The voice is still Kylo, the accent, the stress, the tone. But it’s lacking something vital, some… gravel. Some emotion. Some anger, some pain. 

Some humour. 

That’s always been there, whenever Kylo’s opened his mouth. No matter if he was asking a simple question, barking an order, insulting you, or greeting you… Kylo had always been able to make you feel like he was secretly (or not-so-secretly) mocking you. Like he knew something you didn’t. 

But now… there’s none of that. He doesn’t know more than Hux, because he knows _nothing whatsoever_.

“In a manner of speaking,” Hux says, carefully.  


“I don’t remember. Who are you?”  


A complicated question, and Hux isn’t sure he’s thought this through well enough. There’s a chance to start over, to start from nothing, but Kylo might well remember in the future, and then how would he feel?

“I’m General Hux. Do you know who you are?”  


“They tell me my name is… Kylo? Kylo… Ren?”  


“Yes, that’s your name.” One of them, anyway.  


“Your name is General?”  


“No… it’s my rank. I just… Hux is the only name I go by.”  


“Oh.”  


It hurts, seeing him like this. He’s as innocent as a babe, and Hux wonders how much of ‘him’ is left. Who is he, without his memories? Is he the same man? Wouldn’t any relationship with him be… be… like interfering with a child?

Hux loved Kylo with all his heart, a love he’d never thought he could feel. Seeing this soft, open face… it’s like a vibroblade through the heart. 

“Were we friends?” Kylo asks him, head to one side. “…why are you sad?”  


“We… were friends,” Hux agrees. “I’m sad because you don’t remember that.”  


“But we could still be friends,” Kylo insists. “You could tell me about us.”  


Tell the man he loves - who is now a stranger - about what they got up to together? The whispered declarations, hushed so the universe couldn’t hear? The tears dripped silently onto one another’s shoulders? The way Kylo had worked his way past all his guards, had teased through all his pain, and found something worth loving?

Hux has never told _anyone_ how he feels about Kylo. To tell a boy with the man’s face…

“Perhaps in time. At the minute, I look at you… and I see him. I’m sorry. It’s… difficult.”  


Kylo’s face falls, his pain so transparent in all fresh ways of hell. Hux wants to wipe that pain away, but he’s not strong enough. He can’t take care of this man-child, he can barely take care of _himself_.

“That’s okay,” Kylo says, sadly. “But if I liked you before, I am sure I will like you again. And maybe if you tell me stuff, it will help me remember?”  


“Perhaps.” Oh, but he’s so weak. “I will visit you again. Soon.”  


And - like the coward he is - he runs away.

It’s too much. Too much. And he’s terrified he’ll lose him for good, now: that the hidden spark of Light still in him will call his lover away. 

He’s even more afraid that he wants to let it.


End file.
